Does My Daughter Commit A Sin If She Misses Mass While Staying With Her Non-Catholic Grandparents?

Dear Father John,


My daughter made her first confession and first communion this year. Now that we're in the midst of summer, her grandparents often take her to a campground for a few days at a time. Many times this includes a Sunday. I'm not aware of a Catholic church around there, and my in laws are Protestants.
Does my daughter fall under pain of mortal sin for missing mass on these Sundays? Are we, her parents under mortal sin for allowing her to be away on Sundays?


Thanks for any info you can provide.
Sincerely,

Jennifer

Dear Jennifer,

According to the teaching of the Catholic Church, three conditions are necessary for a person to be culpable of a mortal sin: The action [or omission] involved must be seriously offensive to God; the person who commits the action must give sufficient reflection to the gravity of the offense against God, and the consequences of committing it [the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, to quote the traditional Act of Contrition]; the person must give full consent of the will to committing an action which will cost the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, and commit the action in spite of the cost.

Children are admitted to the Sacrament of Penance [Reconciliation] when they have reached "the age of reason", that is, when they can tell the difference between right and wrong in a very basic sense. "Knowing the difference between spilling the milk while reaching for a slice of bread and throwing the contents of a glass of milk at your brother", as one of my favorite priests would say. But having the maturity of conscience to commit an act which might cost the loss of heaven and the pains of hell requires a maturity of judgment that cannot be present until adulthood. And even then, as a confessor, I believe that very few of the folks whose confessions I've heard over nearly four decades have the maturity of judgment to decide to do what pleases them at the cost of eternal salvation.

According to Church law, Catholics are not held to the obligation of Lord's Day Mass if there is no church within a reasonable distance from where they are staying [a hotel, a campground, etc.] So, to be brief, your daughter does not commit a sin by staying at the campground with her grandparents. You don't commit a sin by allowing her to stay with her grandparents.

Finally, thank you for asking the question. For every person who asks a question on a blog like this one, there are ten or twelve who have the same question, but don't ask.

God Bless You and Your Family

Mental Reservation During the Premarital Inquiry

Father John,
Why would someone tell a priest that he wants a marriage that lasts "until death do us part", or that he wants to have children, or that he intends to be faithful, unless he means it at the time? I don't understand men that make such promises and then don't keep them. From your years at the Marriage Tribunal, can you shed some light on this issue?

Thank you,
Mary

Mary, in my three decades in Tribunal Ministry, I've dealt with many cases where a husband or a wife said things they don't mean at the time they were getting married. And I've also dealt with many cases in which they meant well, but were not mature enough to understand the commitments they were making, and still other cases where they did understand their commitments, but were not capable of fulfilling them.

But, after all these years, I still can't tell you why such things happen, except to say that God didn't create any perfect people. Even the Mother of the Son of God was preserved from original sin at the moment of her conception. But the very fact that she was conceived at a particular moment in time. Therefore, according to the philosophers of ancient Greece, she was not a perfect being, since only an eternal being, which has neither beginning nor end, is truly perfect.

Mental Reservation

Hi, Father John,

What is "mental reservation", and how is that different from lying?

Brian

When I was about five or six, the phone rang, and because I was closest, I went to pick it up.  My dad said, "If that's for me, tell them I'm not home".  So, I picked up the receiver, and said, "Hello".  A man asked, "Is your dad there?" "He told me to say he's not home", I answered. 

Expressions such as "He's not home" are called "equivocations", or "mental reservations".  When there is a good reason for using them, they are admissible.  If the person asked for was at home, but did not wish to talk to the caller, the meaning of the phrase, "He's not home", is restricted by the mind of the speaker to this sense:  "He's not home to speak to you".  Equivocations are commonly called "mental reservations", or more specifically "broad general reservations".  A more serious use of a broad mental reservation is the case of the confessor who is asked about sins made known to him in confession.  He should answer, "I don't know".  Such words, used by a priest, mean "I do not know apart from confession, and I can't talk about what I hear in the confessional", or "I have no knowledge about that matter which I can communicate."

Besides the "broad mental reservation" there is a "strict mental reservation".  One instance is the man who is sitting in the parish office for a pre-marital interview.  He is asked, "Do you understand and intend to grant to your wife the right to a faithful, fruitful and permanent partnership of life, according to the laws of God and of His Church?"  He says, "Yes, I do", but if he really does not intend to be faithful, or else to remain married until death, or else to have children, God willing, then his strict mental reservation is a lie, and if he marries with that intention, his marriage is invalid.

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